Pestering issues of Life
A sit-down comedy reading on humoring our home planet
NOTE: Skip directly to the news clip at the end, or endure this test of pest
All these insects living in your home you know
Living, eating, shitting and even f##king in your home.
They are probably doing it under your kitchen sink right now!
There are the usual miscreants, the mosquito, the house-fly, the cockroach and the spider.
House-fly-- he is born and bred to be inside your house. The entomologists decided that's where they belong, as your room-mate.
Cockroach seems filthy and scary--even the dinosaurs burned down the planet trying to get rid of them. The ice-age occurred millions of years after the dinosaurs went extinct. I looked that up!
The spiders--they live in racial diversity within your home. You probably only distinguish them as one or the other-- a daddy-long-legs, they are kind of shy and don't move about too much. Then there is the cool-dude spider that looks like Spiderman's logo. You don't want to get bitten by that one.
The mosquito stings less and will then thank you by whispering in your ears. It is like an old-school version of Dracula, like the German Nosferatu. "Does this word not sound like the midnight call of the Bird of Death?" That's actual translated dialogue from that silent movie. “I am plagued by mosquitoes." That's actually in the screenplay of Nosferatu. Honestly, it is.
These mosquitoes are organized too. You get one, they call in the others to conquer your body. Don't worry, they won't occupy you, only your mind as you struggle to work or sleep or watch National Geographic, with Bear Grylls educating you which insects you are to eat in inhospitable places of Earth. The logic is, if those insects can thrive there, suck on it fool 'cause they gonna inherit your dead body soon. You ain't no Special Forces Commando with a full camera-crew backup!
His books are inspiring. I have two that I have read. Now the booklouse and the powderpost beetle are eating those books as they sit on a shelf back at my home.
There are several hundred different insects that consume your books and we just clubbed them together under the term "bookworm". Very insensitive to diversity, isn't it?
"You are all Americans."
"No, we are not! We have differing prefix for our American selves!"
It is a true and verified fact, the mosquito is the most dangerous creature on Earth. I Googled that. Mosquitoes kill more people than Hollywood. Hollywood? You didn't see that coming? It is called a 'googly' in cricket and 'curveball' in baseball. You are dreaming and then you instinctively slap yourself. It's the mosquito!
Speaking of cricket, the British loved the chirping of those insects in their gardens at night so much, they made a daytime game named after them. A whole's day's waste of time. There is actually a version of the game called "Day and Night match". Yes, true! When I was younger, I could understand the rules of game of cricket. The five-day Test match can last five days. The One-day game has each side bowling fifty overs. Yes, it took five days and one whole day respectively for those two formats of the game. Now its mutated into variants simply because the original games were not enough to confound you, like the English language itself. There are words getting invented even as I speak.
The only difference between a cricket and a grasshopper is that some Asians won't eat cricket. They will eat-drink-and-sleep the 'game' of cricket. It's a frenzy. The game. As much money in it as football and soccer if not more.
Well, both the grasshopper and the cricket are edible, rich in protein. Not that I have eaten it. The difference between the two actually is their 'diet'. Crickets are omnivores and eat plants as well as meat. Grasshoppers are herbivores and only eat plants.
I don't even wanna mention the insects that live on your body and on your skin. Don't go looking. And if you can see them, you need to stop sleeping in motels or whorehouses and visit a discreet doctor.
The meek shall inherit the earth they say. Insects are not meek. Size does not define aggression and attitude. Size of the fight in the dog, another old saying. But we will skip Skipper's fleas and ticks for now. The black ants seem meek and humble; hungry laborers. Then there are the red ants, marching, navigating, invading and pillaging. Red ants don't die after they sting you. Look it up, I did!
Honey bees are the only bees to die after stinging. Yeah, there are quite a few types of bees.
You get one honeybee inside your home—you don't need that day's aerobic workout. Running and ducking as the poor thing tries to figure out what damned flower your fart is all about.
If honeybees make a honeycomb, their home, at your home's exteriors; well, keep Skipper indoors. All in all, whether you like pets or not, you have pets among insects even though you don't want them around.
Not to be a pest and take up more of your time, I will bugger off now. Bugger? Yes, it's a word. Goodbye and don't let the bed-bugs bite!
Insects in your soup? Research shows growing interest in eco-friendly, protein-rich food sources
In a recent study published in the Journal Nutrients, researchers assessed the acceptance level of various soups with insect flour versus a control sample among 104 subjects, including 55 seniors and 49 young adults in Poland.
The most accepted form of insect consumption is the powder form. Thus, partly crushed insects or insect flour are added to many commonly eaten food products, such as cereals (bread, biscuits), sweets, etc. Similarly, adding whole insects, either as larvae or imago, to soups can be interesting.